Now That Imoke Says I Should Run!

I have had no issues with choosing a party on whose platform to run for elective office in my state. The reason is simple; that choice was long made by people before me who ensured that the political restaurant served only one meal, at breakfast, lunch and dinner. Unfortunately however, afraid of the outcome of my latest enterprise, should I not become ingenious, a few strategies have come to mind.

In the last couple of weeks, a particular number has been calling me and because I have been busy holding consultations, my personal assistant has taken the calls. He is half-educated, stammers with his English but is fluent in his local dialect. Since the person who has been calling does not speak the language my PA understands, my PA has all this while been insisting that the caller has the wrong number. Just this morning, the number called again and fortunately for the caller, I took the call and was shocked to find out that the persistent caller was His Excellency, Liyel Imoke, the governor of Cross River State. Formalities and pleasantries done with, Imoke has sought me out and sounds absolutely convinced that I must run for governor. He is insisting that it must be me because I am the man he knows, who can build on the gains, sustain the gains and lead CR into an assured future. I have accepted to run for the office because Imoke says I should run. Without mincing words, I have no resignation letter to tender because it was Imoke who is insisting and has anointed me to run; if this running enterprise was my idea and not Imoke’s, I would have resigned…but in this instance, I am staying put.

What is politics without promises? Immediately after my swearing-in, all civil servants will move to houses in State Housing; let them just point at any house and it will be theirs. For those who have all this while lived in State Housing, accommodation will now be provided for them at the Summit Hills, to be completed before my swearing-in. Watt market will temporarily shift to the stadium so that I can use my first 100 days in office to upgrade the market, putting air conditioners in all the shops and a generator each to power the air conditioners.

Because I am concerned about the hell Cross Riverians go through, travelling from Calabar to the Northern part of the state, arrangements have been concluded with several airlines led by Dana Air, to airlift our people whenever they want to embark on this long journey. The airlines have agreed to fly very low so that should a fault develop, passengers can hop out of the planes with only minor injuries to show.

Education is a critical sector in the growth and development of our state. You have the highest assurances from me that preposterous jingoism will be waterlooed and peripheral sine qua non implanted in its place to guarantee the obfuscation of myopicidal elevations.

Our farmers will feel more, my commitment to Agriculture because farms will be ingeniously irrigated in a partnership spearheaded by Water Board. The plan is simple; a lot of water pumped by our Water Board is wasted through broken pipes. In order that this does not continue, in places where pipes have been leaking for more than 24 hours, irrigated farming will commence at such places immediately, putting such water to good use and producing food in the long run for the nation.

Sports is close to my heart. It was only recently that the Super Eagles lost a match in Calabar and it was not just a painful experience, but that loss may jeopardise Nigeria’s chances of playing at the next Nations’ Cup. After my swearing-in, I will do this; all national team matches in Calabar will be played in Anatingha, Calabar South. This will ensure that no football match involving any of the national teams will be blown as having ended if Nigeria is on the losing side. A National Teams Victory Enforcement Agency, has already been created, they await my swearing-in.

My administration will embark on several projects that will impact positively on the lives of the people. We will sew more uniforms for the police and allied services, just like all area boys will be issued identity cards, to help them identify themselves when caught at any crime scene and for taxing their income. Those who remain unregistered will be practising their trade without proper licensing. It is an aberration not to professionalise their trade.

I will earn no salary from the state, but only allowances. I normally sympathise with the Accountant-General of the state as he struggles to prepare vouchers and pay salaries. Since I will not be earning a salary, it is one load off his head, he can now concentrate on giving me my allowances and retiring the money later.

I will not place all the plans I have for CRS here because some people are waiting to ‘thief’ my blueprint, but be rest assured, it was Imoke who said I should run.

Iwara Usani Iwara who edits www.calitown.com is inspired by ongoing efforts by gubernatorial aspirants in CRS to sell themselves to the electorate.