I am often perplexed at the reaction of people when you stir up a conversation in the line of virginity, or waiting out on sex until marriage. Of course a large number of people automatically go defensive on you, others offensive, calling you an all too righteous being or what they rather put in simpler terms “holier than thou”.
I’ll like to emphatically state that VIRGINITY ISN’T THE BIG PICTURE, SEXUAL PURITY IS (we’ll delve into the differences in a while, in Sam Smith’s voice “stay with me”). I hear a lot of times people say that virginity is a gift, like there’s some sort of special mantle thrust on a select few to nurture and guard this gift until it is time to give it away, I beg to differ. For the fact that everyone gets a fair share of this national treasure at birth, even though they are people that lose it almost as fast as they can pronounce the word “sex” what is more sad is the fact that a lot of times these people lose it unwillingly or ignorantly. Should virginity matter? Why are we making a big fuss out of a thing as infinitesimal as a “hymen?”
Yes, absolutely, virginity is very important, why? Because God says so. However, this article is not in any way a belittlement to those who’ve either by choice or by force lost it but a wakeup call to people to take a rain check on buying the ideals of the world as regards virginity. As I write this I struggle to tune out the world’s view on the liberalism of people to do with their bodies however and whenever they please and it gets more difficult by the day to filter out the world’s perception about sex and virginity, because by some “magic” they’ve all been intertwined(God’s view and the world’s). In recent times, a perverse generation has revised the meaning of virginity (21st Century Amended): Anal sex, maturation, thigh sex, fellatio, blow jobs, use of toys on the clitoris without actual penetration, etc. People do all this and still tag themselves virgins because “they’ve not had sexual intercourse”.
Now, if you’ve fought the battle of sexual purity for any length of time, you know that it is far more complex than simply abstaining from sex. Sexual purity may be expressed by what you do with your body, but it is ultimately rooted in your heart (spirit) and mind (soul) – Jesus made this clear in Matthew 5:27,28. Is sexual purity possible? Absolutely, but actions must be taken by you if you’re going to be rid of lust it has to first of all take root in your heart, ‘cause the influence of sex related thoughts equals the act itself. Stop fanning the thoughts of you doing all the nasty things you can think of with that sister or brother, when those thoughts come if you don’t want to or can’t pray away the lustful thoughts as they come, take your boots and go for a walk, better still do the tracks.
Remove every material/ object that fuels lust including people, avoid close proximity and communication that will entangle you. Sex solicits one of the strongest human emotion thus very addictive, “soup wey you never ready to chop no good make you taste am” while the act is beyond beautiful, and sometimes heaven-like it is best to let it be a special and unique bond that connects you to the one you want to share eternity with. It is every earthly parent’s wish that their children marry as virgins as they feel their spouses will place a higher value on them at least that is what was sunk into me but beyond that there is pleasing and honouring God with our bodies which I think is the most important reason.
Giving bits and pieces of ourselves to random people is as good as wearing the skimpiest of our clothes and hitting the road, that just cheapens the act, so wait please, wait because God says so, wait because you’ll be proud of yourself when you do, if you’ve made the mistake already, flinch not ‘cause you’re as good as New in God’s eyes, this time he expects you WAIT.
Diwa, who resides in Calabar and writes on topics she feels strongly about, is a Mass Communications major from the Cross River University of Technology, CRUTECH.
